Our childhood shapes and conforms us into who and what we become as adults. As both children and during adolescence we subconsciously absorb all our external influences. We are affected by each positive and negative experience during these early stages of our life profoundly, without us ever really realising it.
If we experience something distressing or traumatic as a child, we tend to bottle up our fears and emotions as we have no idea how to handle or express it, or even understand it. For instance, if we were brought up in an environment where we were constantly criticised, we may have had no confidence to demonstrate our personality as we were afraid of being judged or ridiculed. The same goes for any experience with bullying.
This suppression of our identity becomes our coping method. This coping method adopted as a child then became a habit as an adult. We hide and pent up our feelings all the time. It’s our way of coping. It’s our way of hiding our vulnerabilities as we are afraid to look ‘weak’. We are highly critical of ourselves and worry about what people think of us. Constantly. Making friends feels difficult and small talk is overwhelming.
We live assuming that our weaknesses are our flaws, and our failures equals to our self worth. We believe that this is who we are and how we’re meant to be.
We need to let go and break the mould we’ve been forcefully created in. We need to create our own individuality and worth. Enlighten ourselves with our strengths and positive aspects.
This can only be done once we accept our past, with all the phases we’ve lived through, and all the rollercoaster of emotions we’ve felt throughout our lives up and till now. Accept it all. It’s happened, and we cannot change it. However, know with certainty that none of it was your fault. None of it happened because of you.
Start a new chapter from today. Where you redefine who you are and what you stand for. What you believe in and what you live for. Your passions, ambitions; what brings you joy and peace. Seek them. While also cutting out everything that drags you down, or makes you question your identity and core beliefs.
Once we make that first step in redefining ourselves, we feel alive. We begin to understand what living really is. The memories are still there, and they always will be..but the emotional baggage, it’s gone. We feel lighter and any obstacles we may now face, we face it with strength and patience. We no longer break down, or retreat and hide under our mental rock.
Believe in you. And the world will be compelled to let you shine.